Personal Development

The other night I was listening to Gwen Stefani's "What You Waiting For?" I love Gwen. She is a kick-ass woman who puts herself out there with her style and her lyrics. When I was listening to the song, even though I've heard it a million times before, I suddenly really heard the lyrics.

"Naturally I'm worried if I do it alone

Who really cares? 'Cause it's your life

You never know, it could be great

Take a chance 'cause you might grow"

...

"Like an echo pedal, you're repeating yourself

You know it all by heart

Why are you standing in one place?"

It turns out that the super-confident, larger-than-life Gwen Stefani had some hesitation about going for a solo career. She was also afraid. Something about that made me feel better. Something about that made me more comfortable with my own fear.

I am embarking on something new with this business. I am scared shitless - not gonna lie. I know I am on the right path but there is still the fear. Fear of what people will think. Fear of failure. Fear of success. Fear that I will screw it up. Any of this sound familiar? No judgment here. We all worry about putting ourselves out there. The vulnerability is enough to bring people to their knees. Fear is what keeps us "standing in one place," even though we know what we are doing.

Yet as I listened to these lyrics I became hopeful. "You never know, it could be great" makes me hopeful and inspired. It reminds me of a line of poetry by Erin Hanson that says "'What if I fall?' 'Oh but my darling, What if you fly?'” I get chills whenever I read this. We tend to think of the worst that can happen instead of what amazing things are possible. As Gwen says - you never know. Life is short - take the fucking chance (OK -I paraphrased that last part).

I've known on some level that I would end up working in personal development. I freaking love personal development. Everyone should. Personal development isn't about being positive all the time. It isn't about changing yourself into someone you aren't. It's about taking who you are now and finding your strengths and seeing your challenges. It's about learning how to best use both. It's about being honest about what you want in your life. By that, I mean making sure the things you want for your life are what YOU want for your life. Not what society, your parents, your spouse, or anyone else has told you you should want that you have consciously or unconsciously accepted as true. Very often, as was the case with me, we realize that many of our goals are not ours at all. It's hard to realize that goals you've had your entire life are not really yours. Where do you go from there?

What I did not know was that I would be working with women with ADHD. I didn't know that because until a few years ago I didn't know that I was one of them. So many techniques we learn in personal development courses don't work for our brains. I know that so many of these women did what I did - took lots of personal development courses trying to "fix" themselves, not realizing that they had ADHD and not knowing you can't "fix" ADHD even if you did know you had it. Our personal development has to be different because our brains work differently. By helping educate these women on that fact and so much more about their ADHD, by helping them learn how their brains work, by helping them look through this new set of eyes and ask "What do you want now that you know these things about yourself?" is one of the most fulfilling things I've even done.

As a life coach, I ask you questions. I ask you questions to help you get clear about your goals, your "whys" and your strategies. To help you think about things in a new way. To help you create systems and strategies that work for your brain. I help keep you accountable (HUGE for people with ADHD!). I help you focus on what is important to you and help you create action steps that work for your life. I help you learn how to prioritize and keep your "eye on the prize". I celebrate the big and little victories with you. By asking questions, I help you go deep so you can move your life to the next level. For those of you who think that life coaching isn't necessary, I would like to remind you that even Michael Jordan, arguably the best basketball player of all time, had a coach and life is a hell of a lot more complicated than basketball.

I work with women because nothing makes me happier than watching women become empowered and do amazing things with their lives, even if that is simply being able to get the laundry done (that's a blog post for another time). While I believe that, as women, we can be our own worst enemy at times (mommy wars anyone?), I also truly believe in the power of women. I believe that women working together and supporting each other can make the world a better place and I am honored to hold space for women to do that.

My goal with this blog is to be here for you. It is to talk about things I think are relevant to women. It is to be authentic and vulnerable (😳) so one day you might feel safe doing that too. I promise my blogs will not be perfect so please have a little grace. I promise that I won't be perfect either and I will do my best to be honest about it. I will talk not only talk about my victories but also about the things I struggle with so that I might learn from you too.

So my question to you is what are you waiting for? Are you ready to embrace your ADHD? Are there goals you want to achieve but you haven't been able to create the systems that will help you to achieve them? Are you not sure what you want in life and are hesitating to figure out what they are? Do you love one aspect of your life but don't know how to make the rest of your life work around it? Are you completely lost and afraid to admit it to yourself let alone to the people in your life? What are you waiting for? What is keeping you from doing these things or becoming the person you want to be? What I want for you is to stand up for yourself and understand that everyone has the right to a kick-ass, on-purpose life if they are willing to do the work. Everyone. Yes, even you. Fuck fear. Do it anyway.