You've built an impressive career. Your colleagues see you as competent, driven, and successful. Yet inside, you're constantly second-guessing yourself, working twice as hard to keep up, and wondering why everything feels more difficult than it should.
Sound familiar?
As an ADHD coach who wasn't diagnosed until age 49, I've heard countless similar stories from professional women. Many share the same response when first considering ADHD: "But I've been successful – I can't have ADHD, right?"
This common misconception overlooks a crucial truth: success and ADHD aren't mutually exclusive. In fact, many women with ADHD excel in their careers precisely because they've developed extensive coping mechanisms to manage their symptoms. These strategies often work well enough to mask their struggles, but at what cost?
The Hidden Toll of Undiagnosed ADHD
Research sho
ws that women with ADHD are often diagnosed much later than men, with many receiving diagnoses in their 30s, 40s, or even 50s. Why? Because we've become masters at masking our symptoms. Studies indicate that women with ADHD typically develop compensatory strategies early in life, leading to what researchers call the "hidden cost of success."
ws that women with ADHD are often diagnosed much later than men, with many receiving diagnoses in their 30s, 40s, or even 50s. Why? Because we've become masters at masking our symptoms. Studies indicate that women with ADHD typically develop compensatory strategies early in life, leading to what researchers call the "hidden cost of success."These costs often include:
- Exhaustion from constant overcompensation
- Persistent self-doubt despite external achievements
- Working longer hours to complete tasks that seem easier for others
- Anxiety about maintaining the facade of effortless competence
The Success Paradox
Here's what's fascinating: your success might actually be a sign of ADHD, not evidence against it. Many professional women with ADHD have succeeded because they're:
- Incredibly resourceful in finding workarounds
- Gifted at creative problem-solving
- Able to hyperfocus when stakes are high
- Skilled at adapting to challenges
But maintaining these coping mechanisms takes an enormous amount of energy. That's why you might excel at managing major projects yet struggle with seemingly simple tasks. It's not a character flaw – it's your brain working differently.
Understanding Your Brain
Recent neuroscience research has shown that the ADHD brain processes information and rewards differently. This isn't a deficit – it's a different operating system. When we understand this, we can stop fighting our natural tendencies and start working with them.
Instead of asking, "Why can't I just do things like everyone else?" try asking, "How can I create systems that work with my unique brain?"
Moving Forward
Understanding that success and ADHD can coexist is often the first step toward real change. Once you recognize that your struggles aren't personal failings but symptoms of a different brain wiring, you can begin to:
- Address challenges with curiosity instead of judgment
- Create systems that complement your brain's natural patterns
- Build on your existing strengths while supporting your challenges
- Let go of the exhausting mask of perfection
Because here's the truth: You haven't succeeded despite your ADHD – you've succeeded with it. Now imagine what you could achieve once you understand how your brain really works.
~ Jorie
P.S. If you're a successful professional woman and this resonates with you, I invite you to join us in the ADHD Transformation Café Explore Tier. We're a community of women who understand exactly what you're experiencing. We share strategies, support each other's growth, and learn to work with our ADHD brains instead of against them. We don't just learn about ADHD. We learn how to take action with our ADHD. For more information click here: Explore Tier
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